he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The ass gains better be worth it
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
