Swine flu. Run for my life!
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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