I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
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she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
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Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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