He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
