Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize