So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
