Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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