I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
