I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
