very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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