just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
