all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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