I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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