How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize