I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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