This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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