I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
