It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
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She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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