Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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