May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Thanks for going with me today. Itās been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
Itās called āshopping for lingerieā and itās one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
