Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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