I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
is wine microwaveable?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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