Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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