i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
