I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My underwear smells like fireworks.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
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Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
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Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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