I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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