Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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