Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
