i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
