Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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