Swine flu. Run for my life!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
