I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
