I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize