seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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