I wannas sexs uuuuu
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
