i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
