do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
there was a trapeze. enough said
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
it's great music for shaving your balls
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize