Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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