This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
