i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
