they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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