I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
