I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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