He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
