New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
