Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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