so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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