I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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