well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
