omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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