Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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