They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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