It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
