tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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