The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
