im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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