I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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