my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
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Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
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ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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