Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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