Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
