This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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