Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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