smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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