she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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