you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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