Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
