Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching her eat just hurts me
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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